Attonberry's Clinic for the Mentally Unstable
by mrs.cookieeater
Summary: Dan didn't think he was depressed until he tried to kill himself, and ended up in a clinic. At least he has his raven-haired roommate, Phil, even if they don't trust each other much. They have the same problems, but can they heal each other? Rated T for now. Co-written with my friend Zala. WE DO NOT CLAIM TO OWN DAN OR PHIL. JUST THE WRITING.


Dan had never really thought he was depressed. Sure, it wasn't normal for a sixteen year old to hide 15 razor blades all over his house, and almost pass out every day from blood loss, but he was fine. At least, he had thought he was fine. Even though he'd constantly thought up ways of ending his life, and collected extra pills whenever he was sick, he hadn't ever even considered that he was depressed.

That was, until the fateful day that his mother caught him placing two more pills into the small jar he kept hidden under a loose floorboard. He'd been sick with the flu, and he'd snuck some more pills, as usual. He'd been doing it for months, happily planning a safe time to down them all and end his sorry excuse for a life. He was oblivious to the fact that suicide wasn't normal. He was oblivious to most things.

"DANIEL HOWELL!" His mother had screamed as she stormed over to him and smacked the jar out of his hands. Dan watched the jar fall with sadness in his eyes. The glass shattered upon impact with his floorboards, leaving the lid to spin for a few moments as the pills rolled. All he could think was how he'd have to start all over again. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH THOSE? HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN GOING ON? WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO KILL YOURSELF?"

The questions went on and on, but Dan just stared at the broken pills, and his scratched up floorboards. Why? Why did his mother have to come into his room at that exact moment? Why that day? _Why_?! It wasn't fair! Then again it seemed like nothing in his life was fair. What really wasn't fair? What wasn't fair was that he was fat. His legs were so large, he just couldn't stand to look at them, his stomach seemed far bigger than it should, even though you could see his ribs. Don't even get him started on his shoulders. On top of him being fat, he was also extremely ugly, his skin was so blotchy and his acne was getting worse. His hair was naturally curly and he really just hated everything about himself.

He just wanted to die.

As he was sitting there, his mothers voice yelling distantly in his ear, Dan realised something. He didn't just _want _to die. He deserved to. He shouldn't live! Nobody should ever have to see his ugly body ever again. They should never feel uncomfortable by his awkward, forced conversations. His mother shouldn't be so worried, she shouldn't have to waste her money on him. And his brother, well. His brother was in a wheelchair because he was stupid enough to take him out for ice cream with his mum right after he'd gotten his learning permit. He should have waited longer, until he'd driven a couple more times!

He should have waited a little longer at that stop sign.

He remembered how it felt when he told his brother to wiggle his toes, and the boy had just sobbed, his feet unmoving.

That's what had started the cutting, of course, and the suicidal thoughts. He was so ashamed. He didn't go out of his room for days, and even after he started eating again he still didn't talk to anyone for over a month. Not even when his brother wheeled right in front of him with that happy grin, like everything was okay, and asked him to talk. His younger brother took it much better than he did, even though he knew he'd never walk again.

His mother's voice gradually became less distant, and Dan started to panic. He needed those pills! He just couldn't keep going, knowing that he caused his brother to be paralysed from the waist down. He had to end everyone's suffering, he had to do what the people at school told him to do. He had to end it all.

He scrambled to his feet, and faintly registered his mother's voice asking what he was doing. He ran around his room, picking up all the pills and shoving them in his mouth as he avoided his mothers grasping hands. He swallowed them all and winced as he forced himself not to gag and throw them all up, that would ruin everything. As Dan swallowed the final pill, his mother came into his view, and he could feel her warm hands on his cool face. Her voice was slowly fading, along with his vision, until everything went black.

Dan fell to the floor, unconscious.

When he woke, there were doctors and nurses running about around him, and there was a tube down his throat. He fell unconscious again. _No_ was all he could think, _no, I need to die! Don't pump my stomach, I don't deserve to live! Take me out of this hospital I don't belong here! _and he continued to yell inside his head, where no one could hear, until he woke up yet again.

There were tubes in his arms, and down his throat. Dan could hear an annoying beeping coming from the machine next to him, and it took a few minutes to realise that it was a heart monitor. Damn. He was alive, and his mother was slowly stirring next to him. She was sitting in what looked like an uncomfortable chair, snoring lightly and clasping onto Dan's hand with a grip that didn't seem normal for a sleeping person.

"M-mum?" Dan asked quietly, hating the tube down his throat that muffled his words. He felt so disoriented, and every time he moved, his vision would blur at the edges. His mum soon woke up and gasped with relief. It made Dan feel kind of guilty when she started to sob, and clutched onto his hand with a death grip. But, it just made him want to die even more, because as usual, it was his fault his mother was so upset and worried.

"Dan... Oh Dan, I thought I lost you, baby. I called an ambulance and they took you away... They started pumping your stomach and your heartbeat was slowing. I really thought I was going to lose you! Oh my baby!" She cried, resting her head against Dan's hand and making him feel even more guilty. He was such a bad son. He was such a bad brother, he just couldn't take it, he started freaking out again, yelling incomprehensible words as he tried to rip out all the tubes. He got the one in his throat out halfway before the nurses came and constrained him quickly before he could do anymore damage. A doctor soon came in, and a needle pressed into his arm, making Dan cry out before the sedative took effect, and he was yet again plunged into darkness.

Dan woke up in a different room, with no tubes in his body, and the room silent. He was in a single bed, with crisp, starch white sheets, and an enormous pile of fluffy pillows beneath his head. Sitting up, Dan could see the room more clearly. There was another bed on the other side of the room, with a suitcase next to it. He looked down and saw his own suitcase right next to his bed as well. He looked around the plain room again, seeing two wardrobes on either side of the room, both were an identical deep oak colour.

There were two doors on either side of the room, and as Dan stood up, he wondered which one led where. Well, there was only one way to find out, so he cautiously slid out of bed and padded over to one of the doors, the one his bed was closer to. But, before he could grip the handle, the door was opening and Dan jumped back a few steps as a boy who looked about his age stepped in. He had dark hair and blue eyes, but he looked so sad, broken, he was wearing a long shirt, so Dan couldn't see much, but he was very, very skinny. Dan was kind of jealous, actually.

The boy was being led in by another person who looked much older than the both of them. He had dark, thinning hair and wrinkles were forming on his olive-skinned forehead. His eyes were a murky green, and he looked strong enough to restrain both of them at once. He didn't look particularly mean though, in fact, he looked kind of friendly. He had that sort of glint in his eyes.

"Daniel! You're finally awake! I suspect you don't know where you are. Well, its okay. You're going to be staying here for a while, and this is going to be your roommate Phil. Here at Attonberry's we want to help as much as we can, so if there's anything you need, I'll be just down the hall. My name is Evan, and I'll be your... Sort of guide. You'll come to me for therapy sessions, and I make sure both of you are getting along, and getting better." The man, Evan said, gently nudging Phil forward, into the room, before he shut the door. Dan heard his footsteps becoming fainter until he couldn't hear them at all. Evan was gone.

"Um... Hi, I guess?" Dan said, frowning as he tried to get his fuzzy brain around the whole situation. Where was he? Who was this Phil guy? And Evan? What the hell was going on?! "Where are we? What's Attonberry's? Who was that guy? What the hell is going on?!" He asked, pulling at his hair slightly, and realising he was in his own clothes again.

"What are you talking about? You don't know?" Phil asked, turning to Dan with a confused look before he sat down on the bed his bags were next to. Dan shook his head, and explained everything about the hospital and stuff, feeling a little embarrassed. He didn't want to tell Phil, but it was the only way, wasn't it? "Wow, you have no idea where we are right now..." He breathed, his eyes widening slightly.

Dan shook his head, and Phil bit his lip as he rolled up his sleeves. Dan wasn't really shocked by how many cuts Phil had littered up his arms, he'd made more on himself. He was more shocked y how normal Phil seemed, even if he looked a little sad. But what did his cuts have to do with anything? He wanted to know where they were!

"Dan, Attonberry's is a clinic for depression."

**Wow. So, yeah. New fic and stuff c: I'm making a schedule now! This is going to be co-written with my lovely friend Zala (I'll post a link to your Tumblr on my profile, girl don't worry ;) ) who will be updating on Sundays! (I think)**

**Anyway, I do one chapter, she does the next, and it works like that. Got any questions? Ask in the reviews! I really hope you enjoy this and stuff cus its mostly going to be angst, which is the one genre I don't ever go into.**

**Hopefully we'll get fluff, and maybe some smut, but who knows, since I still have two other series I need to work on, I could end up missing the schedule sometimes. (woops)**

**Okay, so I think that's about it. If you need more explanations, or just wanna talk, feel free to PM me, or review. Hopefully I can address all the anonymous ones in the Author's Notes (I don't know if Zala will do this, sorry.)**

**Speaking of the co-writer! PLEASE NO FAVOURITISM! IF YOU FAVOUR SOMEONE'S CHAPTERS MORE THAN THE OTHER'S, KEEP IT TO YOURSELF. We don't want anyone's feelings to get hurt, right? Right.**

**Remember to R&R, Follow if you want more, and Favourite if you enjoyed this fic!**

**Bye! **


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